California Dreamin’
Fifteen years ago this past October, after selling most of my furniture and belongings, I loaded up a small U-haul with what was left and began the cross country drive to the place that had been calling to me since I was a young kid. When I was just 10 years old I told my mom ‘One day I have to live in California...’ I had never been at that point but something in me just knew. That feeling became stronger right after high school and after finally visiting for the first time during my 21st birthday it was certain in my mind I had to find a way. I allowed fear to hold me back for several more years until the pain of not taking a chance on what my intuition was telling me was worse than following through on that California dream to see what would happen.
I didn’t know a soul here and decided that if I needed a reason to make it happen, it would be to go back to college to finish my degree in photography and art with the goal of becoming a product and commercial photographer for companies. What an incredible journey it has been...California has been more than I could ever have imagined. I finished those degrees and have worked the photography jobs I had envisioned for the last 10 + years. I have met incredible and inspiring people, many of who I am now proud to call friends and family. This place has held my heart while I’ve experienced some of the greatest joys of my life and some of the most gut wrenching of heart breaks. There is always something here that renews me, inspires me, and gives me hope to carry on. From the salty ocean air to the stillness found in the deserts, to the awe one experiences in the redwood forests and mountains. The cities buzz with excitement and art and dreamers. If you spend some time in the quiet, thinking amidst the scent of jasmine and citrus, sunshine on your face...you never know what big idea you will come up with next.
The last few months as I gather my bearings I admittedly feel lost at sea...a new, different, unplanned future not yet seen on the horizon. I never lost who I am with Rick, as he always supported my goals and encouraged me to well, do me. So the shift I feel now isn’t trying to find myself, but to looking at the blank canvas of my life in front of me, perhaps using my skills a little differently...I’ve been doing some big soul searching the past several weeks...stay tuned, I’ll be writing about what I discovered soon. But today I want to encourage you...what is your ‘California’? What is that dream that lives inside of you waiting to be chased? Friends, I promise you that the size of your fear is not real...face it and prove it wrong. Don’t allow the pain of burying a dream to fester...take small steps towards it each day.