45 Things I’ve Concluded in 45 Years…
I’m going to park this right here...just a little lite reading for anyone who’s interested. I’d been mentally fussing over the number attached to this last birthday of mine since the start of the year and had decided to write a list...conclusions or observations that I’ve made in my 45 years so far. The list evolved quite a bit over the last few months as one might imagine. And truthfully, I had enough items on the list to be turning at least 90, but after a bit of self editing here’s what’s left, in no particular order. It’s not meant to regurgitate cliches (there are a few but I find them to be so very true) or feel good fluff...but I hope that it brings you a laugh, a smile, and perhaps some inspiration...at the very least to get a little self indulgent too and consider your own list.
A fair warning that there is some colorful language throughout...if that offends you, you may want to stop here or to quote my youngest nephew, “hike your skirt up Sally” in other words toughen up and brace yourself...lol, and if not, carry on...and enjoy! I’ve also learned over the years that it irritates me being told what to do or say, or what not to say, just on principle...so please take this as not a sort of gospel or even a suggestion...I really wrote this more as a reminder to myself, it truly is just my personal experience or beliefs...you do you friends!
45.
You really are enough. You, right now, just as you are. You. Are. Enough.
44.
Lettuce has no business being served on a hot sandwich.
43.
Some people are just assholes. It’s okay, let ‘em go and move on. Seriously. Don’t wait. Don’t shed one more tear over them.
42.
Recognizing what and whom you are grateful for on a consistent basis will really change your perspective and your life for the better. No matter the circumstances there are always things to show gratitude for.
41.
Kiss often...hello, goodbye, in the rain, under a starry night sky, under mistletoe...the kind of kiss that makes you weak in your knees and takes your breath away.
40.
Start before you are ready is one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever heard. As someone who wasted a lot of years living in fear of the ‘what if’s’ or stressing with decision paralysis...turns out there really isn’t anything to fear and you may never feel ready. Adopt Nike’s motto and ‘just do it’. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Do not wait to do the thing...follow the dream...make it happen!
39.
Nothing brings a memory back like scent...gasoline, fresh baked bread coming out of the oven, sweet tobacco, motorcycle exhaust, rain, good whiskey, bonfires, funnel cakes, night blooming jasmine.
38.
Ask for what you want. Say what you need. People aren’t mind readers.
37.
Nothing can humble you and give you perspective more than getting out into nature...stand at the ocean, go to the mountains, walk through the forest, look at the night sky, watch a sunrise...there’s something magical and life affirming about all of it. Go outside, get off your fucking phone, take a deep breathe and look around you at the world.
36.
Smile or talk to a stranger. You never know who you might meet or how you can brighten someones day. People don’t bite. (Usually...)
35.
Always take the scenic route.
34.
Many of us spend the first 25-30 years of our life saying ‘OMG, I’m getting so old!’. You’re not...because that would mean we spend less than a quarter or so of our life being young and about three quarters “being old”. Who gives a damn?! Live your life. Age is just a number. If you make it to your 80 let’s talk...maybe in the next few years you can wear the “I’m old badge”. I personally am grateful to have made it to the age I now am.
33.
Ladies, a word of caution, go ahead and moisturize your neck before you “need to”…
32.
Some of the most interesting people I’ve ever met were life long learners. Stay curious. It’s never too late to learn and to try something new.
31.
Take lots of photos...moments, memory and time are fleeting. Then print your damn photos. Digital files are fickle bitches.
30.
I think it really is all about love. Love of family, friends, other human beings, animals, your work, your art...your life. Remember to FLY...first love yourself. And a favorite quote: ‘Do small things with great love’ - Mother Teresa.
29.
Another favorite quote: ‘Why not be naughty?’ - my Aunt Nancy
28.
A tough one for me...work on letting go of rigid, all or nothing thinking...not everything is as clear as black and white...embrace the grey areas.
27.
The Rolling Stones know what is up… ‘ You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find... You get what you need...’
26.
So does Stevie Nicks...’Time makes you bolder...’ Amen, sister...it sure as hell does.
25.
This might be my Wisconsin roots talking...but cheese really does make most anything better.
24.
People say a lot of things...but watch what they do.
23.
Let’s all hold hands and jump off the ‘busyness’ train together. The word has started to make my skin crawl...I’m trying to banish it from my vocabulary. ‘How are you? Soooooo busy’... Ugh. Slow down and take a moment...contemplate why so “busy”? What would you have to face if you were to just sit with yourself for a moment in silence?
22.
One truly doesn’t know the beauty of unconditional love until you’ve loved and been loved by an animal.
21.
Say no to the shit you absolutely don’t want to do. Don’t regret later the time you could have spent with loved ones instead or working towards your goals and dreams…you’ll never get the time back.
20.
If you can make it happen, it’s always worth springing for the VIP ticket / first class experience. Always. Concerts, sporting events, flights, hotels, theme parks, dooo it. #TreatYoSelf (Thanks to Ricky for that one!)
19.
Read authors and poets who you find profound and thought provoking...the ones who’s words you feel deep in your gut. For me it’s Oscar Wilde, Rumi, Jonathan Carroll, Wally Lamb, Atticus, Hunter S. Thompson, J.D. Salinger...
18.
Look at all kinds of art for beauty and inspiration...music, design, painting, dance, photography, textiles, writing. Some of my favorite gifts I’ve ever received are art...from adults or kids. Drawings, paintings, wood or metal work, jewelry, photos, quilts...
17.
If you have never experienced an evening that ended in skinny dipping in a lake...go make that happen.
16.
California is always a good idea.
15.
As an adult you can decide what you believe, how you act, how you respond to things. You can choose to leave your bad behavior, prejudices, gossiping, or acquired childhood bullshit behind. You have free will and can treat people with kindness, love, and respect...or don’t...but it IS a choice. Excuses for bad behavior as an adult are nonsense.
14.
There is no outfit more comforting than a well worn pair of jeans and converse sneakers.
13.
Change...every big change I ever took a chance on lead me to something great that I couldn’t even have imagined. Feel the discomfort and then go for it anyway. Don’t let ‘risk’ be a bad four letter word. Stop overthinking. One moment of calculated courage can change your life. Trust your instincts.
12.
Accepting help is hard...but learn to do it. It’s good for you and I think for the person offering. We’re all in this crazy life together...
11.
Don’t make assumptions. You know what they say about that...
10.
Consider carefully what you want to contribute to the world. How will you be remembered? What is your legacy?
9.
Some days motivation will be lacking...and frankly, you’ll feel like you’re totally out of fucks. Be gentle with yourself...rest...get back at it the next day. Never quit.
8.
Don’t ask the question if you aren’t prepared for the answer.
7.
Cherish your friends that you can pick up with right where you left off after some time, distance, space...the ones that don’t give up on you...they are the true ones that will always be there.
6.
If you want to avoid disappointment, keep an eye on your level of expectations.
5.
Find the person who will know all your flaws, your quirks, your secrets...and love you anyway.
4.
People will be eager to give you their opinions and “constructive” criticism. Listen... is there any truth to it? If it’s not for you, or it comes from someone whose advice you wouldn’t solicit on your own...thank them and move on...it’s okay to not take it to heart and just let it go.
3.
Never settle.
2.
When life if testing your very limits, push past the lump in your throat, and the tears in your eyes and with conviction say ‘I’ve got this...’. Repeat until you believe it yourself.
1.
And when all else fails...find laughter.